Can Women Work Together Without Competing?

I love women empowerment.

I love what happens when women support one another, come together to make amazing things happen, push boundaries, create essential work, take risks — women who would never dream of allowing their gender to hold them back.

I love EmpowHER of the Palm Beaches!

I believe that we have a real power, especially in this day and age, if we work together to tackle the clear diversity issues that persist across the creative, tech and – quite frankly – all business sectors.

One of the first United State of Women Summits I attended was held on June 14, 2016.  I was among more than 15,000 women to witness an education platform of women working to change tomorrow.  As I sat in the VIP area I felt that the speakers — First Lady Michelle Obama; television icon Oprah Winfrey; Valerie Jarrett, Senior Advisor to the President and Chair, White House Council on Women and Girls; Beverly Bond, CEO of Black Girls Rock; Nenna Chaudhry, Director of Education, National Women’s Law Center — were speaking every thought of my soul. I thought, this is a place where things happen. It doesn’t really get more empowering than this.

I sat there and just thought, YES, this is what we need in Palm Beach County. Impactful, empathetic, ambitious, smart women leading by example for others. And bam, a question was raised that many of us will have come across in LeanIn.org, asking male audience members to raise their hand if they’d ever been called bossy and for women to do the same. The contrast was overwhelming. It’s this issue, which starts in childhood, that sets the precedent for how women, especially ambitious women, go on to be perceived in the workplace.

I’ve been fortunate enough across my career to be surrounded by an amazing family, network, and friendship group packed full of inspirational women. But for every woman who’s built me up, there have been plenty who’ve tried to put me down. My favorite moment was early in my career, back in my ESH days, when the MD of the business complained to my accounting manager because I’d had the audacity to speak in an accountability meeting. Not because what I said wasn’t relevant or valid but that, as a staff accountant, I should just sit there, shut up and take notes.

Why am I saying this? Because I think we have to stop viewing other women as competition if we truly want to get better representation and create more opportunities for ourselves. Since arriving in Palm Beach County, I’ve met a bunch of absolutely incredible women who I look at and think – wow, you are awesome. Rather than see these women as competition I think, great, you’re helping us rebalance things here by being an empowered woman.

As women, two of the things we are often faulted with at work is being overly emotional, and competing against each other. While terms such as competitiveness and aggressiveness tend to be associated more with male characteristics, females have since the beginning of time battled to attract a suitable male by promoting youth and physical attractiveness.

As we’ve evolved from primitive intra-sexual competition to the most compelling feminist theories, and now to the fight for gender equality and equal pay for equal work, the fear at the root of competitiveness between women is still very much alive. Fear that there is not enough room for all of us to have meaningful careers. Fear that one woman’s success diminishes that of others.

So much so that, according to a recent Business Insider article, more women admitted they’d prefer working with men, than men did. Not to mention the fact that according to the Workplace Bullying Institute, more female bullies (53.7 percent vs. 39.9 percent male) engage in sabotage at work! And it seems women at higher levels are not particularly inclined to help other women get ahead! Remind you of high school?

Yet in the same token, it appears competition may make women less effective at work, as it kills our creativity. If we are so much better than men at working in teams and collaborating, why are we still undermining each other? Will we ever be able to work together and nix the unhealthy competition that brings us all down?

I believe so. I do think we have some ways to go, myself included. Yet more and more women are starting to realize that promoting other women, seeking other more successful, powerful women, as threatening as it may initially seem, gives us a leg up. For women to band together and create powerful networks, we must realize the pool of opportunities is as endless as we make it. And that one woman’s power and success is a reflection on all of us…

EmpowHER, an absolutely incredible opportunity and an experience that I am absolutely loving, is tinged with frustration that diversity issues are still so prominent. I never want any of us to be a token woman. I want US (women) to be invited to speak at events, to attend conferences, to be given platforms because what we as women have to say is interesting, insightful and hopefully can provide inspiration to other women, and men — not just to fill a quota.

Do you think women can work together without competing?

Geanine Wester has trained and coached hundreds of women over the past twenty years in leadership development. She is the founder of EmpowHER of the Palm Beaches, established to empower and motivate women to change their local community through personal and political leadership.

By Geanine Wester on September 15, 2018   /   Blog